Dave's Story
110 per cent care
Dave Terry, 45, was diagnosed with bladder cancer four years ago and has been under the care of the Hospice, through its community team. Dave recently came into the Hospice as an in-patient for the first time for more involved pain control and talks about his visit and changed perceptions.
"Liz Christodoulou (Hospice Clinical Nurse Specialist) has always looked after me. I had been getting more and more poorly, Liz felt it would be beneficial for me to come to the Hospice. I always saw it as an ambulance in and a Hearse out and it isn’t like that at all and I only know that because I have been here. I had the trust in Liz, I hadn’t realised that she was so much a part of the Hospice – if it hadn’t been for Liz I may not have come here, she re-arranged my visit to see her for me to come to the Hospice, I think it was a way of her getting me through the door. My views have changed ten fold I have nothing but the greatest respect for what has been done for me care wise, you can not buy this kind of care, there is not enough money to buy it. I think everybody should have this regardless of where they are.
It’s not all bad. Me and my wife managed to get married again, on our 17th wedding anniversary, it fell on a Saturday and a bank holiday weekend so everything was perfect and we had a big white wedding, fantastic day and fantastic memories. I have learnt that it is not all bad but I have only learnt that since I have been here.
All I have had since I came here is 110 per cent care. At times I felt I shouldn’t be here but I was reassured that I was only here because I needed to be. There is always time for you – that is the difference. You see nurses laugh and joke and spending half an hour chatting with a patient. It is like a service all the time – nothing stops. I was so negative and I feel guilty, I really slated the place and I shouldn’t have done that. I came in here for pain relief and that was all I expected. If it wasn’t for the fact there was a sad ending this is the kind of place you would be happy to stay in.
I am 45 years old, I am not an old man. I don’t need everything done for me. I said to the nurse, jokingly, there is no remote control for the telly, she put the buzzer next to me and said that if I had a problem changing the channel to call her. I said I can’t do that! She said yes you can – when you are in this situation those little things make a difference. I have had days and nights when I’ve been so low but there has always been somebody there, I had a bad night realising my life span and the nurse sat an hour with me checking I was okay – that made a difference to me. Somebody in the kitchen takes time to make the food look great so that even if you are not hungry it will still bring a smile to your face to know that someone has taken the trouble to do that for you. Nobody would imagine someone like me would notice a tomato cut in to a basket but I did and I rang up family and said you have got to come and see this and took pictures on my phone and texted them to friends.
I have managed to deal with a lot of emotional baggage...that I never thought I would get out and have been reassured that it is normal to be that way – and I'm not like that. They have worked endlessly to make sure that I have as little pain as possible. They have helped me to go forward, I am in dark waters, I don’t know when it will end and I have got to live every day, I didn’t know anybody could make that passage easier but they have, somehow, they have made a difference. If I am up to 3am they come and see why, they tell me off if I don’t tell them about my pain. They say I shouldn’t be in pain so that I can enjoy my life. I have got the feeling I can talk to anybody and I have never had that.
I always said that if anything happened to me I would die at home - now I want to come to Willen when my days are up, I want my family to feel the care that I have had because I know that they will get the same level of care and Willen will make it easier for them. The way that I am living now through what Willen has given me is far beyond anything I could ever have expected and yet I can’t believe that such a large percentage of the care is paid for by donations, I can’t believe that they have to go out and ask for money. I wasn’t made to feel like a patient, I was treated like Dave. This is personal, that is what Willen does, everything they do you feel like it is done just for you.”
